BANKING SPERM PRIOR TO VASECTOMY ©1999 Kevin B. Clever DC
The option to store sperm prior to a Vasectomy can preserve your ability to father children in the future, and prevent the need for expensive reversal surgeries, should your circumstances change later in your life. (like hooking up with an 18 year old cocktail waitress from Van Nuys)
Sperm
Through the Internet I found CALIFORNIA CRYOBANK, INC. I called and made an appointment with a counselor to discuss my needs.
I met with the storage client manager Karen Fox, who was way cool. (ALL the people at CCB are cool) They do pre Vasectomies all the time. (Note that there are other reasons for banking sperm, such as prior to cancer therapies, for testicular or prostate surgery) These folks are straight up, and will take the time to explain there program in great detail.
Next came the "SEMEN STORAGE AGREEMENT" paperwork. It covers specimen storage, term of storage, storage fees, release of semen, termination, liquidated damages, release indemnification, notices, death of client, your usual misc. provisions, and your basic semen storage without designated recipient information and consent form. (Everybody should have one of those) That all took about half an hour to go through.
Now comes the state of California. They require a blood screening prior to storage for protection of the recipient of the sperm, and the future children. The screening was for the following:
Crtomegalovirus (CMV)
Syphilis
Hepatitis B surface antigen
Hepatitis B core antibody
HIV 1 and HIV 2
Hepatitis C viral antibody
HTLV-1
Chlamydia
Gonorrhea
A Cryobank technician drew blood on my first visit and I received the results several days later.
Next came the deposit. A technician came and took me to the lab, where I
was handed a sterile 4oz plastic container with lid, and shown to a collection
room. (tips & techniques for semen collection click
here) It consisted of a sink and counter, chair, color TV with porno, and
your basic X rated magazines. I felt as if I had been preparing for this
my whole life. Guys all practice this from an early age. My
instructions were two fold, one, write my name on the lid and side of the collection
bottle with the grease pencil supplied and please "try not to miss the container". OK, I can handle that.
There is a sign on the wall, to wash your hands and thoroughly dry them.
Also you're warned not to use a lubricant of any kind, as it can be very harmful to
sperm. I think the collection room must have been designed by a
women. No offense intended, but masturbating while sitting in a little chair, sitting straight up,
in a confined area, is not the easiest nor the most comfortable thing in the world.
Should you find yourself in this position I would suggest placing a towel
down, and lying on the floor. That way you can get into what your doing, and
just as you get ready to cum, you can place the sterile collection cup at an
angle and shoot straight in. You would have less of a chance of losing a
portion of your specimen that way, not to mention that it's a lot more
comfortable. I took my clothes off, washed my hands, turned on the TV, and got
busy. The collection of the
specimen was a little intimidating. 
You have this 4 oz
sterile specimen jar and after jacking off, you look in, and
the volume of your ejaculation is a tiny looking teaspoon. All that jar for
such a small specimen. Until you find out the next day on the lab report,
that your specimen, that one lone teaspoon of pathetic looking semen, contained 400,000,000
(four hundred million) swimming sperm. Yikes.... After
finishing in the collection room, I brought the sample back to the lab,
doing my best to look nonchalant. Nobody bats an eye, knowing that
in the last 15 minutes or so, just 10 feet away, you've been wacking off, to
produce your specimen. Adding to that, your handing a very good looking
lab technician the fruits of your labor from the collection room, and she asks
you two questions; how many days of abstinence from your last sex, and did you
lose any portion in collection? (I really wanted to say that I hadn't had
sex with a live women for six years, I still live with my mother in the garage
of her Palmdale home, and my cat's name is Beast, but I didn't have the balls,
you tell her.) Those questions answered, I was escorted
to the front desk, where my parking ticket was validated. I bid good day to the
pretty girls at the front desk,
blasting off into the sunset. (well, actually the girls gave me a little
extra time on the parking validation, so I stopped a couple of doors down the
street and had a few beers, then blasted off.... they made me do it. And
if you believe they made me do it, I have some land for sale in Pacioma, the
vacation capitol of California.) The lab results were promptly made available to me the next day.
A quick note about the lab technicians at CCB. Upon hearing of my website, they were very gracious, in that they explained the whole procedure and analysis of sperm specimens, even allowing me to view the live sperm slides, and showing me how the sperm are counted and graded.
The lab adds a cryoprotectant to the semen to reduce damage during freezing. The semen specimen is then placed in individual vials and frozen in liquid nitrogen at -196º C.
A laboratory report detailing the initial semen analysis, post processing analysis and post thaw analysis is provided with each new deposit. I have detailed a sample analysis of each below. It may be more information than you might otherwise need, however for anyone interested, I have included it.
sperm as seen through a microscope
INITIAL SEMEN ANALYSIS
concentration: 81 million/ml
volume: 3.4 ml
total sperm count: 275 million
motility: 82%
progressive motility: 3
round cells: 0.7 mil/ml
viscosity: normal
ph: 8.0
agglutination: none
EXPLANATION of RESULTS FOR THE CHART ABOVE:
Concentration is 81 million per ml. You're considered to have a low sperm count if the count is less than 20 million per ml.
Volume is 3.4 ml. Normal is between 2 and 6ml.
Total Sperm Count: 275 million. If you have less than 40 million total sperm, it's considered to be low.
Motility: 82%. How many are moving fast. If less than 50%, it's considered low.
Progressive Motility: 3. Grade 4 sperm move in a straight line fast, like little guided missiles. Grade 3 sperm move forward, but in a curved line. Grade 2 sperm move their tails, but don't move. Grade 1 sperm don't move at all. Sperm grade of 2 or less is considered poor.
Round Cells: 0.7 Good sperm should have a regular oval head, with a connecting mid piece and a long straight tail. If too many are abnormally shaped (round heads, pin heads, very large heads, double heads, absent tails) they will not be able to fertilize the egg.
Viscosity: Normal During ejaculation the semen spurts out and gels quickly. This should liquefy again in 30 mins to allow the sperm free motility. If it's too thick, this can be a problem.
Ph: 8.0 An alkaline ph protects the sperms from the acidity of the vaginal fluid.
Agglutination: None. Agglutination is seen as sperm sticking together. It can't help any.
Putting this all together, one looks for the total number of "good" sperms in the sample, - the product of the total sperm count, the progressive motile sperm and the normally shaped sperm. This gives the progressive motile sperm count which is a Crude index of the fertility potential of the sperm.
Poor sperm tests can result from:
* incorrect semen collection technique (dirty hands or container)
* too long of a delay from collection to testing
* too short an interval since previous ejaculation
* recent illness in the last 3 months
* prolonged soaking in hot tubs or bath tubs slow down production of sperm in the testes
* watching the video, "AUSTIN POWERS, THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME"
POST PROCESSING ANALYSIS
Concentration: 49 million/ml
Volume: 5.2 ml (w/ cryoextender)
Total Sperm Count: 254 million
Motility: 81%
Progressive Motility: grade 3.5
POST THAW ANALYSIS
A small sample is frozen at -196 C, and then thawed to see what the mortality rate is. Once this has been determined, vials are prepared for freezing.
POST THAW ANALYSIS
Concentration: 55 million/ml
Motility: 49%
Vial Volume: 1.0 m/l (each)
Motile cells per vial: 26 million
Progressive Motility: grade 3
Total number of vials from above sample = 5
You should expect that the sperm will freeze well for at least 20 years. (just in case you want to start having kids at 65)
The Cryobank recommends pre vasectomy clients to have between 6 and 12 vials in storage, in the event that circumstances should change in your lifetime.
COST:
Required Blood Screening: $ 74.80
Specimen Handling (draw blood) $ 20.00
1st Deposit: $140.00 (w/first time acct set up)
2nd Deposit: $110.00 (each additional deposit)
Semen Storage: 60 months $690.00
Total of all above = $1,034.80
I have eleven 1ml vials of sperm stored for five years for a amortized cost of $17.25 @ month.
California Cryobank can serve most any client which has access to Federal Express service.
Open six days a week for you're banking convenience.
(please note: I have no business relationship with California Cryobank, Inc., other than client semen storage, paid for with my American Express card. yes....for the frequent flyer miles... perhaps AMX will run a national TV ad....I can see it now...)
Tips and techniques for the collection of semen are available here.
The information presented is not designed or intended as medical advice.
Author Kevin B. Clever DC
Copyright © 1999 by Kevin B. Clever DC. All rights reserved.
Revised: 16 Jun 2009 06:13:59 -0700.