PRE & POST PROCEDURE INSTRUCTIONS
PRE VASECTOMY INSTRUCTIONS
* NO ASPIRIN PRODUCTS OR NON-STEROIDAL ANTI-INFLAMMATORY DRUGS (like Motrin®, Advil®, Aleve®, Orudis®, Nuprin®, etc.) for one week prior to the vasectomy.
* No Alcohol (beer, liquor, wine) for two days prior to vasectomy.
The reason for the above instructions is that aspirin products and alcohol will thin your blood and may contribute to excessive bleeding or prevent appropriate clotting.
Consider having sex before your procedure. You're going to be out of action for a while, might as well shoot some last live rounds (I used the line I might croak on the operating table, it worked pretty good).
On the day of the procedure, shower, washing your penis and scrotum.
Some doctors recommend shaving a two inch square area on the front of the scrotum, directly under the penis. Shaving procedure slides and tips click here.
Bring a pair of clean tight fitting Jockey type briefs or a athletic supporter to wear after the procedure.
If you have taken a mild tranquilizer, bring someone who'll drive you home.
POST VASECTOMY INSTRUCTIONS
For the next two days, chill out and take it easy. The tiny opening made in the scrotum may bleed a little bit, so wear a suitable bandage or a small gauze pad in your underwear. (mine didn't bleed at all, yours might)
Don't be a pussy and whine about your discomfort (if any). While it takes balls to be vasectomized, your wife has delivered children and this procedure just can't compare to that (if your partner has never had children, go ahead and whine, might as well go for it).
For two days following your procedure, you will quickly learn the "Vasectomy Shuffle", go with the flow.
Your scrotum may swell. Place ice packs on your scrotum, every 20 mins for 1 to 4 hours to help reduce the swelling and pain. I've heard from friends that frozen peas work well for this. (I didn't experience any swelling and ice wasn't necessary, your experience may be different)
You should wear snug fitting Jockey type briefs 24 hours per day for the first week. Of all the post procedure instructions I've read, this one is the best. I had no discomfort at all after the first night, as long as the briefs were on.
Call your doctor if your pain is persistent and not relived by pain medication.
Call your doctor if you notice persistent bleeding or swelling larger than a marble sized area around the opening in your scrotum.
You can shower anytime after the procedure. No hot tubs, bathtubs or pools for the first week.
You can resume sex as soon as you feel like having it. (The post care instructions all vary on this point: some say right away, some say a week. I was at it again on the second day after my procedure. You be the judge.) But remember that you're not sterile right away. For tips on temporary birth control Click Here
If you're a Famous Porno Star (perhaps not so famous, just hung like a horse) or have a job requiring manual labor, consult with your doctor about the best time for you to resume work.
Return your semen specimen to your doctor after 20 ejaculations, and then one month later. You're not sterile, until your doctor says you are. The quickest way to flush out your system of sperm is to _______, like a rabbit.
(you fill in the blank)
This information provides a general overview on vasectomy and may not apply in each individual case. Always consult with your physician to determine whether this information can be applied to your personal situation and to obtain additional information.
The information presented is not designed or intended as medical advice.
Author Kevin B. Clever DC
Copyright © 1999 by Kevin B. Clever DC. All rights reserved.
Revised: 16 Jun 2009 06:13:59 -0700.